Breaking up: a sweet rant


Breakups are never fun, right?

Usually they involve detaching statements of “it’s not you, it’s me”, emotional responses and the like. With Tony and Mark, both times it was me doing the breaking. Both times it was them doing the tissue-passing. I always felt horrible that things weren’t working out, but what was the alternative?

Stay and languish? Uh uh.


For the past year, for the majority of the last few years, I’ve needed to have that conversation. You know the one, the DTR.


But instead I’ve hemmed. I’ve hawed. I’ve made excuses of “it will get better” all to the chagrin of my tomorrow self.  But then big things sometimes have to happen to move the needle closer to the outer edge of the record.


And the end has come, though surprisingly not on May 21, 2011.

sugar is it toxic

It has come time to part ways. Mostly. Sugar, I’m kicking you to the curb. My dear John letter would look something like this:

Dear Sugar,

This relationship has become abusive. I don’t like who I become when you’re around and I sure as heck don’t like who I become right after you leave. Somehow, you’ve weaseled your way into the most intimate circles of my life. You put on airs as if you belong at every party, at many meals and I just don’t buy it anymore. The more I get to know you sugar, the more I think you’re toxic.

But here’s the thing: you’re everywhere. Like a silent stalker, a peeping tom- I catch you in the most unexpected places.

I’m learning to live without you bit by bit. I’m remembering how sweet tomatoes taste bought from summer farmer’s markets. I’m relishing the berries that sweeten the end of the meal. I’m finding a healthier relationship by mostly eliminating this one. Because let’s be honest, I will not be rid of you entirely. I know this and I know you probably are the best guest at the brightest celebrations. So here’s the difference sugar: I’m redefining the terms of this relationship. I get to choose to empty the glass jar, soon to be bereft of your white sparkling crystals with something else like maize. And that bag in my pantry- yes I’m looking at you, brown sugar, you’re not much better.

This isn’t easy. I’ve really relied upon you more than anyone ever should, but for the sake of my health, my family and the beautiful heritage of diabetes creeping behind me like a pesky shadow, I have to do this. I hope you understand.

It’s you and it’s me.



  1. Love this.

    I’ve been doing a high-protein, low-carb diet (6 days a week) for a few months now, and I have to tell you, when you take on a diet that keeps your blood sugar so consistently low, you don’t crave the stuff at all. I already favor savories over sweets, but I seriously have not been tempted in the slightest to indulge in anything sugary. If anything, it’s turned me further away from it. Even on the “cheat” days, I find I don’t have room for dessert.

    1. Seriously. I have been craving savories too. I can tide myself over with berries at the moment and look at really sweet things and “taste” them in my mind. I would love to chat with you about how this has affected any preserving, as it seems like many preservation methods involve sugar. Can honey be a substitute most of the time?

  2. Annelies, I too kicked sugar to the curb (mostly). For me it was about six years ago, in a desperate attempt to restore my health. After a few weeks of feeling, frankly, terrible, I started to feel well. Really well. My “chronic fatigue syndrome” pretty much disappeared. So, hang in there! And my entire blog is sugar-free, so please come visit if you need healthy treats to keep you sane. 🙂

    1. Thanks Stephanie. Six years! That’s incredible. I have been doing some reading on sugar after talking with someone who’s husband had two kinds of cancer. She mentioned that when he got his pet scans, they would give him sugar since it was drawn to the cancer and reveal it. This got me thinking more about it & thus I tread slowly into this with much prayer and one day at a time. 🙂 I will definitely check out your blog.

  3. Good for you!! Several years ago (maybe 5 or 6?), I gave up candy. I seriously had a problem where I’d buy sugary sour candy and eat it in huge amounts everyday. It was an addiction for sure. I replaced the cravings with fresh fruit, and added in dried fruit at some point. I still crave sugar…or sweet foods, but I go for natural sugars just about every time these days and feel so much better! Best of luck in keeping sugar (too much of it, anyway) out of your life. Proud of you!

    1. Fresh fruit has saved my tush. I am gaga for blueberries right now! 🙂 I am so on board with you Dorry on the end goal being going for natural sugars. I appreciate your thoughts and support in this [BIG] life change for me. 🙂

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