To have, to hold and a plate of oatmeal cookies

oatmeal cookies

If the first year of marriage has taught me anything it might be this: practice tenacity, forgiveness, listening then talking, embrace the need for God, plan adventures, respect the need for space and time, cultivate dependence and independence.

It’s a longer list than I expected. It grows every day.

To have and to hold- that’s how it begins. But the rest of it is beautifully unwritten. The rest of it looks as different as each couple. You have to choose to deepen that relationship. It takes time. Marinating. It sounds like a properly grilled flank steak. You hold the ones you love close for the time you have them. You work on the friendship knowing that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. For us this means:

He works on his novel, I revise poems.
He explores the edges of his guitar and I hum or sing along.
He creates new fantastical worlds and I bind books.
He washes dishes, I cook.

It works. And sometimes, on very special occasions, it involves oatmeal raisin cookies.

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